7 Reasons Why Being Single Isn't So Bad

Being single is probably the most difficult thing for many people.  In the constant search for our suitable life-long partner to stay through thick & thin times with us in our lives - never was an easy task & also requires lots of investment into the time taken. Most importantly, we should bear in mind not to rush over these matters into our own hands but allow nature to take its course.  

As Oscar Wilde once said: “I think it is very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person”.

There are 7 things on why it is okay to be single that I like to mention in this post, and I hope it will give you a better & broader perspective on being single.  

1.       Independence

You will start to take care of yourself better because you do not want your family & friends to be worried about you. Be it – you only became single recently or have been throughout your whole life, you would never like the feeling of having to always burden someone’s life with your own problems. This is the time where you will spend the effort to start understanding more about yourself & also realize that you can do anything by yourself and you don’t need anyone else. 

2.       Get to know yourself better

Sure you know about your name, height, age and where were you born. But these things does not equate to you truly knowing & understanding yourself. Learning who you are is about recognizing and realizing your own interests, goals, belief & the principles you uphold as a person. The interests, goals, beliefs and principles you have cannot be influenced or persuaded by any particular person. It must come truly from your heart & mind. This will be the moment where you start to lead a more meaningful life with goals to head towards to. And trust me, be it you're attached or single will never matter to you again.  

3.      Your freedom

Everyone loves freedom, right? The amount of freedom you have grows proportionately with your age. This is true to a certain extent if you still remain single in your twenties. But this is quite unlikely - as there will be a high possibility or chance that you would be attached in your twenties. In every relationship, there are strings attached and responsibilities to be taken care of. So trust me, while you’re still single before 20 years old. There’s nothing bad and to be sad about. Instead, I believe you have noticed the advantage you have over others in there. 

4.      Your confidence level will only grow

I believe being in a healthy relationship can bring confidence to people. However, this is true for singles as well. Let me explain myself here. There are various reasons to why some people are single – It could be some have chosen to be single or others have just yet to meet their right ones. It does not matter at all. When you’re single, you can take the time and chance to develop your skills, to make progress in your career and as well as, improving on your own overall traits. All of these help to build up your confidence level. I would like to remind everyone NOT TO MEASURE your confidence level with your looks. If not, you are going to have a very negative outlook on life. Instead, be proud of it as you are born with it. 

5.     You will realize who your true friends are

When people have just come out from their relationship, I believe this point would resonate very well with them. For people who have never stepped into a relationship before, this may seem a little indistinct to you. I believe many people know what I am going to say with this point. It is times like these where you feel most vulnerable, heartbroken and disappointed from events such as break-ups – you will start to notice who are your true friends that will always be there for you and to share the pain and suffering with you. Treasure this group of friends as they are the ones that makes you realize how blessed and happy you can be from being single. 

6.      It keeps your options open

When you are single, you have all the time to consider all the options that are available at hands. This includes on what you really want and as well as, your aspirations for the future. You’ll never find the perfect guy at first, but after much re-considerations and concerns that are being taken care of – you will find the perfect one. Remember, never to date someone just to pass time. Look at all possible angles and consider all options when it comes to finding the right one for yourself. 

7.                You will love yourself more

You know the only person who will always be there for you, is yourself. The more time you have for yourself, the more focus you will be on yourself and eventually start to realize how to have your own back. There is the oft-quoted example of which, “If you don’t love yourself, no one will”. After all, the best relationship you can have is with yourself. 

7 things I've learn from being a kid.

I believe there is always something for us to value or learn in every phase of our lives. Undeniably, as kids whom are always only seeking for fun, joy & enjoyment - what could we have really learnt? We did not have any big worries in us except for the small & important ones like who was going to buy my toys, my games, my favourite food, when do I complete my homework & where are my parents. Those moments of our lives were indeed happy & carefree.

Today, as I looked back what could I have learnt from being a kid - 7 things surfaced upon my mind.


1. How to not confess my love through telephone calls.

This is one thing that everyone should not do. It could make you seem really creepy or seen as a guy with no sincerity at all. Make sure you confess face-to-face using the most sincere efforts you got. Now, this is what happened. There was this girl whom I crushed on for a year, so I had no guts to tell her face-to-face, because back then - I had the tendency to run away after confessing my feelings. (I know I behave like a girl, lol) So, I telephoned her using my house phone to confess my feelings. The very next thing I could hear was too-too-too-too - she decided to hang up on me. Things were always awkward since then. 

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2. How to get comfort & attention from my parents when I am angry.

This worked for me. I learnt that whenever I feel that my parents were a little unfair towards me. I would run to one corner of my room and sit down for ages just to get their comfort & attention. Usually, my dad would come comforting me & bring me out. I don't know what methods you guys have tried, but it worked for me pretty well when I was a kid. Now, as I think back - I have no comments for what I have did. Lol. 

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3. Learnt to cheat smartly even if its a mini competition.

There was this day where me and my brother were competing against each other on who could finish eating the bread first. I accepted the challenge. We were standing near to the windows when we were challenging each other. So just when my brother was not looking at me, I threw the bread out of the window & shouted, " I WON!!" Guessed what happened next? 

My brother realized my mouth was not chewing anything and it was only a few seconds after the challenge started. I received an all well-deserved scolding from my parents. The moral of the story is to cheat smartly. 

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4. To prevent my parents from scolding me any further, I pretend to sleep. 

You always disliked & hated your parents scolding you when you're a kid. Even now, you hate it too. So, whenever my parents start scolding me. I would just lie down & close my eyes & not move my body. I was hoping that they would assume that I am already asleep. That worked for me. But again, they were not that stupid to figure out I am faking because who could sleep with all the noises around you. However, to my surprise, they stopped scolding. Here comes the twist - the moment I stopped faking or am awake, I am being scolded for the same thing again. It's like a continuation from their break. That's my parents! But I love them. 

Baby pretending to sleep, priceless smile afterwards

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5. Learnt how to compete fairly for my childhood love.

I had this crush on a girl during my kindergarten years. Yes, I know it is a little too early for someone to feel love. Anyway, that happened. So I was trying to woo this girl using what I know & learnt from the drama I have watched. Suddenly, there came another guy who loved her too. So I spoke to that guy and guess what happened next? We drafted and discussed a solution out. The solution was for this girl to take turns to partner one of us during queuing, i.e. going for recess or excursions. The girl agreed to it. YAY.

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6. Learnt that connections were important.

I felt that I needed to get all of my friends contact numbers when I was a kid. As I watched how some bullies in schools had many friends following behind them. And they could do things easily. That was when I felt connections were important. But of course, I did not use it for the same purpose as the bullies. Instead, I only used it for asking help: "What is the homework ah?, Can you help me to solve this ah?"

7. Never enter any classrooms when lights are turned off.

One fine day, I was walking from my classroom to the toilet. I was imagining myself to be one of the cartoon character. If I remembered correctly, it was totally spies. I imagined myself to be in a mission so I had to walk stealthily. This was where everything went wrong. I walked into a dark classroom so as to walk stealthily, however, a teacher saw me doing it. She came in and questioned me. I was so young and afraid to lie anything. So I replied: "I was playing inside." That reply earned me my first school disciplinary case of my life. 

Since then, spies were out of my life.

Okay! That's all I would like to share. Of course, I have learnt more than 7 things from being a kid. But I could only remember these 7 things vividly as I felt it was too embarrassing and silly. I wouldn't mind you laughing at me now. I just hope that you had a good read about my life as a kid. Personally, I find it quite happening for me. Hahaha.

Society - The inevitable divisions & the problem

Society can be easily defined as people coming together and living in a country/environment harmoniously, accepting, however, large or small their differences may be. The differences have always posed as the biggest hurdle or challenge for any society up to present. The universal solution as to how to solve these differences is familiar with many, I believe, the word, "Accept."

How exactly divisive is it in our society? 

I believe the "bell curve - the mean & two extreme ends" can perfectly illustrate what is "something" that is inevitable in every society. The "something" is intangible, and in other words, known as division. I will be sharing on some factors and examples on what ways are our society being divided.

I will not include factors such as race, religion and so on. However, factors which can be measurably comparable between one and another, such as wealth, level of IQ, level of creativeness, speaking capabilities will be the factors that I will be sharing in this post. 

The bell curve.

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Even before I show the image of the bell curve, I believe many of you are already fully aware of this constantly occurring phenomenon of how a society is being divided. 

So having seen how divisive a society is naturally shaped to be - what are your initial or later reactions to it? 

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• The difference in IQ appears to be a challenge for anyone in the schooling years...

In school, you will always have that one person who has higher IQ than an average person does. And he/she is capable of scoring full marks or distinctions for all subjects. That person is bound to disappear in your life. You will always see him/her in some part of your life. When you hear of it happening or meet someone like him/her; you will go like ...

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• Some would be upset over the traits of what they do not have and others may have - unnecessarily creating a negative outlook on their own lives. 

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• I feel that this tinge of sadness or suffering is redundant. Because again, if you and someone were to have similar traits, you wouldn't feel special. No one likes to be the same,  it is our human instinct to feel that way. 

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• We all have friends that always owns the latest gadgets and lives in expensive bungalows. They are wealthy. Another inevitable division in the society. And when you get to learn about all these from your friends .... I believe this is your immediate reaction in your heart or mind secretly. 

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• We all have one or two friends that that can speak excellently, fluently, and exercises confidence with conviction. 

"Even from my sickbed, even if you are going to lower me to the grave and I feel that something is going wrong, I will GET UP!!!"

• Not to mention, the people of incredible creativity mindset and attributes that have helped to grew a country's economy greatly and changed the tides in markets extraordinarily. These people are of importance in the entrepreneur sector as they are not afraid of taking risk, and sees that failure as natural and necessary for success. 

Note: They are not afraid of falling over a chair and they will pick themselves up and start afresh till they are successful in jumping over a chair.

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• You will always have friends that are very good in mathematics, they can do perfect mental problems in their brains, including square roots and to the power of 100000. These are the people you will need when you go for shopping for grocery or camp stuffs. 

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• In your social circle, there will always be a friend which has excellent sociable characteristics. They get along with anyone very well and easily. They are the Mr/Ms popular in the crowd. But, most of the time, they suffer poor memory problems. 

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Disclaimer: Most of the time, it happens to people who socializes for the sake of socializing, and have no means to be friends for the future. 

• You will also have friends whom are extremely athletic and pro-active in sports.  

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The main point that I want to bring across is that apart from the obvious differences like religious, races and ethnic differences which may cause social problems between people - there are also many other measurable factors which I have illustrated above can lead to the same outcome too.

For instance, some people may not get along well with people who are smarter than them as they may feel inferior or feared to be looked down upon.

Some may be upset over the fact that others had the trait that they had always wanted and they may get jealous over it. 

Some may not feel as comfortable as when they hang out with extroverts or people of sociable characteristics. 

There might also be frictions created between people that are very and not-so athletically inclined when they play together in a match. Since athletes would treat a match game much more seriously.

These differences come into effect when some people have more of a certain trait and some people have less of the same trait. But I believe the solution for such social problems remains the same - Accepting the differences and embracing it.

However, on the good side, differences can be good too. 

For example, friends who are wealthier than others, can help those that are less well off by not hurting their pride. Another will be people of better entrepreneur mindsets can come forward to set up businesses and boost the economy. Lastly, friends that can do fast and quick mental sums - I believe you would want them along when you're doing shopping. They can help to save seconds from the calculations you have to do yourself. 

Apart from just the people doing their part by accepting the differences in people. I think it will be appreciated and good to note that the government has also played a part over the years to realize and overcome the differences in people. Meritocracy, is no doubt, the viable solution to an inevitable division in a society (if not it would have escalated to even more social problems). It gives equal opportunities for everyone regardless of race or social status to do their best, which has helped to ensure our peace and stability in Singapore. 

Meritocracy - Good or Bad?

Having experience the system of meritocracy in Singapore, many thoughts and feelings have been flowing through my mind lately. I would like to highlight the some of the good and bad that meritocracy may have brought to the society as a whole. This post will be covering some views and opinions from myself. 

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Alright, I believe everyone is familiar that meritocracy is the system being practiced throughout the years of independence since its separation from Malaysia. 

The principle of Meritocracy is that everyone will be guaranteed equal opportunities to excel or succeed in life, regardless of his religion, race or social status. The allocation of rewards is on the basis of individual's merits, abilities and achievements. At this end, we could see that there would be no equal outcomes for every individual. That's pretty much life, I know. 

The good that Meritocracy brings about is that every individual would be motivated and very driven to work hard to reach their goals. Be it one may come from a lower social status than others, it does not lower the chances of him/her from becoming successful. This system creates a positive attitude and an-all-out mindset out of the society - striving to achieve the best they can with their abilities and, in turn, hoping that their hard work and efforts will be recognized and paid off with rewards. This also makes it easier for the government to select the cream of the crop to take up more important roles and jobs in the country. A country filled with individuals that are motivated and constantly striving for their best would indefinitely bring benefits to the growth of a country.

Time and again, have proved that everything has its good and bad. This will bring me to my next point.

What bad has Meritocracy brought about to the society? 

The system, however, has inevitably shaped some youths to be selfish and only to be concern about their performance most of the time. As a result, leading to an even more stressful and competitive environment for every child - which is not very healthy for the growing phase of an individual. Because of how the system works - outcomes are not equal for everyone, people starts caring for themselves more and so that they would stand a chance to reap the rewards. To add on, a sphere of elites have also been established in every institution, and viewing this at its extreme - people who are not in the sphere would feel left behind and left out by the system. Since the system emphasizes more on the individual ' I ' than the collective "we". And at its worst, the winners of the system may believe that they only have themselves to thank for the success they have. 

That is all for my opinions and views on Meritocracy. I understand there may be some factors you have in mind, which are not mentioned by me. You can comment on this post or on my Facebook post, and I'll be willing to hear them out from you. Sharing our views will make us understand our home country better.