We developed closer bonds in the midst of knowing more about each other. We danced in the grey area of almosts and everything seemed promising. Carefree conversations and meetings till late night made our hearts raced. Despite all the butterflies in our stomach, we were still conscious of the fact that there is a slight chance we might not end up together. But I am glad that we tried. :)
This post comes shortly after my self reflection over the past few years.
Leaving didn't mean I took you for a ride
I didn't want the both of us to sink even deeper. I left because I felt that you deserved someone better than me. It's not an excuse for me to ditch the entire date. My feelings for you were genuine but I experienced inferiority complex because I could not provide you with what you wanted to the fullest at that moment. Even if our very journey was a short one, I enjoyed it. I have held on longer than I should have because I did think we would end up together one day, I hope you could feel it. :)
I left because I came to my realization
We had non-stop conversations every day and while everything lasted, I got to admit that the commitments made were worthwhile. I left because I grew to realize that we are people from different worlds. Don't get me wrong, I was willing to have it a go but circumstances had me to hesitate about whether it was the right time to take a risk. Hence, I walked away because I realized I deserved someone different and you deserved someone you're sure of.
Leaving because I loved you too much
It was a constant struggle between keeping you by my side and you wanting to do the things you love. In this instance, priorities proved to be an important factor which decides if everything still mattered. I left because I know you will soar to greater heights and be better off without me.