Someday Today

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Good afternoon all!

First and foremost, I want to express that it is a great privilege to be able to reminisce.  Do not get the wrong idea about me, because what I wish to express in here is that it is certainly a beautiful opportunity and platform for anyone to rethink through some of the events that took place.

More often than not, we always indulged ourselves into our interests, hobbies and work during leisure time. Surely, there is nothing wrong with that because I behave similarly most of the times. However, there would come a phase whereby before you decide to continue, you would want to close the chapter before beginning to start a new one.

This post will recount my 9 months journey in OCS, my heartfelt gratitude to my friends, family and my partner.

It is no doubt one of the greatest achievements to have entered OCS after my basic military training. To bluntly share my perspective of the army – it was never optimistic because of the immediate forfeiture of freedom. Yet similar to many others, I am aware of the importance of national defence. The Tekong days were never quite enjoyable because I dreaded it every day. Strangely, I still gave my best in training and exercises. I am an example of such living paradox if there are any. Surely, this would be the confidence that Singapore can rely on, that her people will fight for survival, deterrence and independence if there is a need, however, dislike they may be.

To have graduated from the class of 101/15 officer cadet course is never possible without my friends, family, and my partner. They have guided and brought me to this point which I can safely say that, my closest people in this life. Friends have made this journey real meaningful and definitely, an unforgettable one to remember for many years to come. It's this camaraderie built that reminds all of us that we have each other to rely on if we fail one day and as well as, the purpose to live on each day. Many of us may have parted on that very proud moment, 26 June 2016, but our souls remain ever interconnected. That would be the second assurance that Singapore may have because if we have to fight to keep our friends safe and sound, we will.

This day, I had the privilege to enjoy the peace and stability in Singapore. This was not something built in a day but the result of progressive efforts over the past 50 years, which our generation must understand and never ever take it for granted. The pioneer built the trees and it shall be our responsibility to water it and witness it grows. I am deeply grateful to have my family members always having my back when times are difficult. They are the source of my energy to accomplishing things which I never thought possible. The past 21 years have been full of sorrow and joy, but more importantly, I have learnt to grow to become a better person for you all, my friends, and my partner. The grueling 9 months in OCS may have taught and strengthen each and every one of us in a different manner, but it will always be towards a similar vision - to overcome the difficult times together. 

Allow me, if I may go all the way back to the very fateful day, 28 June 2014, it will be the day whereby I got together with my partner. Till date, it has been 2 years and I have grown out a lot from it. My partner, Kit Yee, I want to let you know that you are the shiniest and as well as, the most brilliant star in my universe. You are the one that shed light in most of the difficult phases and at the same time, makes me want to improve and fight for my cause and pursue my dreams. You are the final fateful piece to my incomplete puzzle in my life. I am glad to have met you in this lifetime.

Don't mind the mushiness. Moving on, as I further recall myself as a cadet of the OCS, there were certainly many regrets. I was ignorant and selfish at times. There were instances that I just neither want to participate nor place in the effort. Of course, I was snapped back into reality upon the thought of my loved ones. They certainly would not be proud nor be approving of my actions. And it did take me some time before I realize this. That's human nature.

Finally, the takeaways from the Officer Cadet Training journey is extraordinary. It is a place whereby it embraces you with the most arduous and difficult times, and collectively, everyone will overcome to stand tall and proud to become an unchallengeable force.

I am thankful for the experience, OCS.

To lead, To excel, To overcome. 

The Road To There

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What's written in this post will be something that is close to my heart and that I hold on dearly to. 

This something has changed over the years and many valuable pointers were picked up at the same time.

This something has taught me how to control, cherish and live with minimal regrets.

This something is known as my way of loving a person. 

Ask yourself what matters the most

Only you can define what's important to you. When it comes down to it, you really need to ask yourself who is the most important person in your life? Devote your efforts and cherish her with your best efforts and sincerity. It's really that simple. Humans may tend to take each other for granted at times, but it must never be a habit.

Love for the person she is

Ask yourself what traits of her have attracted you the most? At the earliest moment could be her appearance but you know that is superficial. The bottom line is that never change the person she is. Instead, attempt to understand why would she does certain things - talk out the problems - thereafter, decide for yourself whether you can accept for who she is. 

Be grateful and realize constructive comparisons

To be grateful is to be appreciative of the things around you. Don't be shy to express how thankful and blessed you are to have her by your side. Remember that communication will bring the both of you closer. We may also tend to get complacent and too comfortable with our relationship at times, resulting in us thinking that others' are having better lives. This is where comparisons will be made - for example, other couples are enjoying so much more than us, the perfect family and so on - however, we do not really know what goes on behind the doors and that does not really matter to us as well. Just remember to flourish and nurture the bonds both of you have created always. 

The grass is not greener on the other side; it's greener on the side you water the most.

Have her back at all times

Sometimes, girls may be insecure for some unspoken reasons. Reassure her regardless of the circumstances. They may have spoken words that they do not mean just to test your degree of love for them through your replies. I will advise all the boys out there to not give up so easily if you really love her that much - just like how you would not give up on something you hold on dearly to. 

Be proud to have her

There's no need to flaunt your relationship as if you have won a big prize or trophy in a competition. Just admit that you have a partner and be ready to show her to your family as soon as both of you are comfortable with it. This gives her the impression that you're serious about this. Don't attempt to keep your relationship a secret without good reasons at all. 

Do not ever lie

In a relationship, do not ever lie to each other. Yes, the truth may be hurtful at times but what's there that both of you can't speak about? You are going to live your lives for the next few decades together. How difficult it may be at times, I believe that everything can be worked out - just that it requires more tact at times.

Be understanding and listen to her

I know this is known to everyone. However, we must constantly remind ourselves to understand before letting our emotions decide our actions. Be control of your own emotions and never allow it to affect your judgement. Yes, listen to your partner always - it may be tiny details and all, but this is what justifies good quality time spent. 

Prioritize her in your list

As we grow older, there are more responsibilities on our hands. It's inevitably true and so we have to deal with it appropriately. There should be a balance amongst your social circle, career, family and love. You have to decide what's more important and there will be one that ranks number one. That is life.

Discuss about the future

Future is full of uncertainties and imagination. It's always good to dream about goals and imagine the life few decades later. In my opinion, it is the best thing that you can always discuss with your partner about. Envisage the future together! 

Do not ignore her

Regardless of the circumstances, you should ever ignore her. Inform her that you're tired and need some rest right now and seek for her understanding. However, this should not be a habit or excuse that you should use everytime. Remember to end the call or conversation on a good note. 

Ask for her opinions

We tend to get carried away at times and forgotten about her opinions or feelings on certain issues. She will also understand your situation and carry on with your plans. However, do not make this a frequent occurrence as she will eventually feel a lack of respect and care for her. There should be respect between both of you afterall. 

There is no need need for anyone to tell you the special ingredients in a lasting relationship ...

There are many ways to love someone. If both of you truly want to stay together, you will find out the ingredients. On this last point, I would like to share with everyone that growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional. You are the author of your learning journey.