Someday Today

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Good afternoon all!

First and foremost, I want to express that it is a great privilege to be able to reminisce.  Do not get the wrong idea about me, because what I wish to express in here is that it is certainly a beautiful opportunity and platform for anyone to rethink through some of the events that took place.

More often than not, we always indulged ourselves into our interests, hobbies and work during leisure time. Surely, there is nothing wrong with that because I behave similarly most of the times. However, there would come a phase whereby before you decide to continue, you would want to close the chapter before beginning to start a new one.

This post will recount my 9 months journey in OCS, my heartfelt gratitude to my friends, family and my partner.

It is no doubt one of the greatest achievements to have entered OCS after my basic military training. To bluntly share my perspective of the army – it was never optimistic because of the immediate forfeiture of freedom. Yet similar to many others, I am aware of the importance of national defence. The Tekong days were never quite enjoyable because I dreaded it every day. Strangely, I still gave my best in training and exercises. I am an example of such living paradox if there are any. Surely, this would be the confidence that Singapore can rely on, that her people will fight for survival, deterrence and independence if there is a need, however, dislike they may be.

To have graduated from the class of 101/15 officer cadet course is never possible without my friends, family, and my partner. They have guided and brought me to this point which I can safely say that, my closest people in this life. Friends have made this journey real meaningful and definitely, an unforgettable one to remember for many years to come. It's this camaraderie built that reminds all of us that we have each other to rely on if we fail one day and as well as, the purpose to live on each day. Many of us may have parted on that very proud moment, 26 June 2016, but our souls remain ever interconnected. That would be the second assurance that Singapore may have because if we have to fight to keep our friends safe and sound, we will.

This day, I had the privilege to enjoy the peace and stability in Singapore. This was not something built in a day but the result of progressive efforts over the past 50 years, which our generation must understand and never ever take it for granted. The pioneer built the trees and it shall be our responsibility to water it and witness it grows. I am deeply grateful to have my family members always having my back when times are difficult. They are the source of my energy to accomplishing things which I never thought possible. The past 21 years have been full of sorrow and joy, but more importantly, I have learnt to grow to become a better person for you all, my friends, and my partner. The grueling 9 months in OCS may have taught and strengthen each and every one of us in a different manner, but it will always be towards a similar vision - to overcome the difficult times together. 

Allow me, if I may go all the way back to the very fateful day, 28 June 2014, it will be the day whereby I got together with my partner. Till date, it has been 2 years and I have grown out a lot from it. My partner, Kit Yee, I want to let you know that you are the shiniest and as well as, the most brilliant star in my universe. You are the one that shed light in most of the difficult phases and at the same time, makes me want to improve and fight for my cause and pursue my dreams. You are the final fateful piece to my incomplete puzzle in my life. I am glad to have met you in this lifetime.

Don't mind the mushiness. Moving on, as I further recall myself as a cadet of the OCS, there were certainly many regrets. I was ignorant and selfish at times. There were instances that I just neither want to participate nor place in the effort. Of course, I was snapped back into reality upon the thought of my loved ones. They certainly would not be proud nor be approving of my actions. And it did take me some time before I realize this. That's human nature.

Finally, the takeaways from the Officer Cadet Training journey is extraordinary. It is a place whereby it embraces you with the most arduous and difficult times, and collectively, everyone will overcome to stand tall and proud to become an unchallengeable force.

I am thankful for the experience, OCS.

To lead, To excel, To overcome. 

The Road To There

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What's written in this post will be something that is close to my heart and that I hold on dearly to. 

This something has changed over the years and many valuable pointers were picked up at the same time.

This something has taught me how to control, cherish and live with minimal regrets.

This something is known as my way of loving a person. 

Ask yourself what matters the most

Only you can define what's important to you. When it comes down to it, you really need to ask yourself who is the most important person in your life? Devote your efforts and cherish her with your best efforts and sincerity. It's really that simple. Humans may tend to take each other for granted at times, but it must never be a habit.

Love for the person she is

Ask yourself what traits of her have attracted you the most? At the earliest moment could be her appearance but you know that is superficial. The bottom line is that never change the person she is. Instead, attempt to understand why would she does certain things - talk out the problems - thereafter, decide for yourself whether you can accept for who she is. 

Be grateful and realize constructive comparisons

To be grateful is to be appreciative of the things around you. Don't be shy to express how thankful and blessed you are to have her by your side. Remember that communication will bring the both of you closer. We may also tend to get complacent and too comfortable with our relationship at times, resulting in us thinking that others' are having better lives. This is where comparisons will be made - for example, other couples are enjoying so much more than us, the perfect family and so on - however, we do not really know what goes on behind the doors and that does not really matter to us as well. Just remember to flourish and nurture the bonds both of you have created always. 

The grass is not greener on the other side; it's greener on the side you water the most.

Have her back at all times

Sometimes, girls may be insecure for some unspoken reasons. Reassure her regardless of the circumstances. They may have spoken words that they do not mean just to test your degree of love for them through your replies. I will advise all the boys out there to not give up so easily if you really love her that much - just like how you would not give up on something you hold on dearly to. 

Be proud to have her

There's no need to flaunt your relationship as if you have won a big prize or trophy in a competition. Just admit that you have a partner and be ready to show her to your family as soon as both of you are comfortable with it. This gives her the impression that you're serious about this. Don't attempt to keep your relationship a secret without good reasons at all. 

Do not ever lie

In a relationship, do not ever lie to each other. Yes, the truth may be hurtful at times but what's there that both of you can't speak about? You are going to live your lives for the next few decades together. How difficult it may be at times, I believe that everything can be worked out - just that it requires more tact at times.

Be understanding and listen to her

I know this is known to everyone. However, we must constantly remind ourselves to understand before letting our emotions decide our actions. Be control of your own emotions and never allow it to affect your judgement. Yes, listen to your partner always - it may be tiny details and all, but this is what justifies good quality time spent. 

Prioritize her in your list

As we grow older, there are more responsibilities on our hands. It's inevitably true and so we have to deal with it appropriately. There should be a balance amongst your social circle, career, family and love. You have to decide what's more important and there will be one that ranks number one. That is life.

Discuss about the future

Future is full of uncertainties and imagination. It's always good to dream about goals and imagine the life few decades later. In my opinion, it is the best thing that you can always discuss with your partner about. Envisage the future together! 

Do not ignore her

Regardless of the circumstances, you should ever ignore her. Inform her that you're tired and need some rest right now and seek for her understanding. However, this should not be a habit or excuse that you should use everytime. Remember to end the call or conversation on a good note. 

Ask for her opinions

We tend to get carried away at times and forgotten about her opinions or feelings on certain issues. She will also understand your situation and carry on with your plans. However, do not make this a frequent occurrence as she will eventually feel a lack of respect and care for her. There should be respect between both of you afterall. 

There is no need need for anyone to tell you the special ingredients in a lasting relationship ...

There are many ways to love someone. If both of you truly want to stay together, you will find out the ingredients. On this last point, I would like to share with everyone that growing old is inevitable but growing up is optional. You are the author of your learning journey. 

5 Why's The Longer You're Single Makes You A Better Partner

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Looking around at our surroundings, one by one getting attached as time passes, can be rather discouraging. However, is that really the case? I can guarantee you that this wasn't the case at all as I was also in a similar predicament as you.

Here's 5 Why's that will change the perception on being single.  

1) Prepares you mentally which increases the chances! 

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You have all the freedom to sort out the things that you love and want to do. Having said so, you also have all the time to prepare your emotions and mental state before committing to a relationship. Just like examinations, the better you prep for it, the higher chances to succeed! 

2) You will be less bitter about your past

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The less affection you have towards your past relationship helps you to make better judgements and decisions. You will also be less insecure with your emotions which work a relationship out better! Most importantly, you will be able to start afresh! 

3) You have not met the right person

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In other words, you're picky. However, that isn't a bad thing either. You just want to make sure you meet someone whom you're comfortable and right for you before committing. 

4) You will get to know yourself better

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Be it you're either just out of a relationship or been single for a long time, you will definitely grow to understand yourself better during your single time. You will know what you're looking for and that will make you a better lover in time to come! 

5) You will be more independent

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By growing to be more independent will mean being more responsible to yourself and your partner. That will make your partner more rest assured of your well-being and a healthy relationship can be better worked out! Lastly, you will learn to love yourself! 

8 Things That Men ❤️ In Women

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It’s never always about the appearance. Although it is undeniably true that people always first notice on the physical side of others, but that's perfectly alright. Whilst that may hold true to many, it is no surprise that appearance becomes the last and counts the least in the list, when it comes to deciding settling down with that person. I am sure you know it as well! You can even ask your boyfriend about it, and I am sure your boyfriend can list much more than just appearance about you. It’s an interesting discovery. 

1) Be a good listener

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Just as how you would like to show care and concern for the people around you - hearing out about their problems and reassuring them right afterwards - it is no different in a relationship. Your boyfriends might face unhappiness at work or stress over some issues at times. This might or might not surprise you, just by listening to what he has to say - makes him feel that you're able to share the emotions and load at that juncture, making him feel blessed to have you around all the time! 

2) Be kind and appreciative

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How would you not love someone who is kind and helpful towards others? Those traits are just simply irresistible to anyone. I am sure that most of the women in this universe will also want guys who are kind, helpful and gentle. 

3) Be spontaneous

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You don't have to be spontaneous 24 hours round the clock. I admit that it's not easy to remain that way at times. The idea is to try something new and out of your comfort zone, sing out loud even if it sounds awful, dance around and scream for joy when surprises are thrown at you. This will brighten the atmosphere and as well as, who knows it may rekindle the spark between the both of you! 

4) A good cook

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As cliche as it may sounds, "the way to your men's heart is through his stomach" still holds true if you ask me. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to be an excellent chef or anything, so long as you are willing to learn or even cook something, your boyfriend's heart will totally be captured by your efforts.

5) Humor

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When it comes to settling down, humor is definitely in my list. Isn't it just great to have someone whom can brighten up your day from time to time? Be it silly or wise humor, they are still awesome! More than just jokes, I feel that humorous couples would also be able to find positivity in all situations, just like how every cloud would have a silver lining. 

6) Able to take care of herself

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Not necessarily that all men love women to be independent totally. There are still things which boyfriends feel that their girlfriends should confide in them. I am sure that majority of the women are able to take care of themselves and this is a plus point to many men. You give men the assurance to pursue their career without worries, but of course - that does not mean that men would stop thinking about you once you're able to take care of yourself - in fact, you will forever be on their mind! 

7) Being confident in being natural

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Your boyfriend may not understand all of your insecurities. If there is one thing that I like to share would be to be natural and I am sure you boyfriend will love you for that. No matter how imperfect you feel you are, your boyfriend will feel otherwise - you are always perfect in his eyes - so remember it! Your confidence is all that matters to him.

8) Motherly Instinct 

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It's a definite must for guys whom want to settle down. I am sure that all the guys will agree with me! He will want someone whom is able to take care of him, and in return, he takes care of you too. This will also allow the guys to feel rest assured whenever their kids are in your hands. 

Now that you know what are some of the things that men love in women, there are indeed some resemblance in the points mentioned above for women too when it comes to looking for men! 

Ask These Questions To Feel Closer To Your Partner

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There will always be instances when you feel uncertainties in your relationship as you go forward. If that happens, do not ever allow your uncertainties to guide or form on your following thoughts. Always clarify your doubts with the other partner before making undesired decisions. As you can never be certain on how the other partner thinks until you witnessed it yourself. Last but just as important, never allow your pride to refrain asking questions which you think are foolish, because there will never be questions that bears ignorance in love.   

1.       What was your first impression of me?

You may be surprised at what your partner has got to say. It can be quite an interesting conversation with many truths unfolded between you and your partner. Most importantly, don't get too affected or allow it to cast a shadow on your current situation if the truths get too unpleasant. Just have fun and work forward together from the process.

2.       What worries you the most?

Ask your partner about this because you may find out some of their deep secrets which your partner has never talked about it before. This may help you to understand your partner, in his or her considerations and thoughts at certain occasions much better.

3.       What do you envisage in the future?

Find out what your partner wants or seek for in the future. Ask him anything from marriage to career. It will help you to see what are his priorities for the relationship. 

4.       What's one thing that made you guilty?

By asking what makes them most guilty, it helps you to reassure the the personality of your partner once again. It's always good to be informed of their limits so that you won't unnecessary align them in any difficult positions. 

5.   What are you most proud about? 

Who knows that you might find out something startling that you haven't know of it. From conversations on a daily basis, how likely is your partner to boast? 

6.   How was it like to woo / being chased by me? 

Your experience may differs from your partner's one since everyone experiences the world differently. How has your partner perceived it? Share with each other your point of view and you will definitely be bound to find out things that you do not remember. Who knows it might rekindle the spark in both once again.